Alice
by Dminion
Summary: She had met someone. Someone who became her custodian, her friend. Someone who did his best to help her. Now to go after him she discards who she was. Her name now, is just, Alice.


**Disclaimer:** I do not claim ownership of the characters or setting... period.

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Her stay at Rutledge Asylum was horrible there was no denying that. Being constantly tormented by those who were supposed to take care of her and her own demons drove her into bouts of mania. Yet, that changed after the first year of her... _internment_.

The change was the addition to the staff of Rutledge. It was man, somewhere between his mid-twenties to early thirties, if she guessed correctly, and she was quite good at guessing so she was sure of her guess.

He was tall, taller than almost anybody that she had met, both in Wonderland, and here in the asylum. His skin was tan, his hair stark white, and his eyes were a deep shade of grey reminiscent of steel. This man was the new custodian of Rutledge, well, to be more specific he was _her_ _new custodian_.

It wasn't her fault really. The old one wasn't nice. He would take her things when he thought she wasn't looking. So she gave the appropriate reward for one with such light fingers, or well, rather, who used to have fingers.

In any case, her new custodian was not like the old one, or anyone at Rutledge at all. He did not treat her like everyone else did. There was no taunting in his words. There was no pain from his actions. There was no scorned pity in his , his words were gentle and soothing if only peppered with a little cynicism. His hands were gentle and did not touch her in inappropriate places. His eyes, his eyes were what drew her curiosity the most.

It was not the color nor the shade which interested her. No, it was how she saw them change from a warm man who did nothing but care for her as best he could to a cold tundra when those who sought to torment her did so in front of him.

It was also quite entertaining to see others fumble around him when he entered such a state. The orderlies were reduced to blubbering idiots. Nurse Witless cowered when he was near in fear. The doctors silenced by those silent promises behind those windows to the soul. But those eyes, those shades of grey were always warm for her, and her alone.

There was nothing she could see behind those orbs of steel. No ulterior motive other than just wanting to help her; and due to this change, that was when she made a friend. In actuality he was more of a confidant, someone she could try and talk to. She told him things, of her past, of her Wonderland, and unlike the doctors it appeared that he understood her pain, her sorrow, her anguish.

It was his presence that made her stay in Rutledge bearable.

It was also his words that convinced her to enter her Wonderland.

"You are not insane." He told her one day. "You are just distorted."

She wondered if he meant that as an insult, but she could tell that he was not mocking her in any way.

"You have a different view of the world." He continued. "And your Wonderland is what helps you; but it is only you who can either try to understand it, or see it burn away as will your mind."

And she remembered his words, and then she took a leap of faith and entered her Wonderland. Her beautiful, broken, scared and ever-present Wonderland. In her Wonderland she faced herself, faced her fears, her memories, her growing insanity and at the end of it all, her Wonderland was restored, her madness was destroyed, for the time being. Then before she left Cheshire appeared before her with one last line.

_"Take heed Alice."_ The cat began. _"That man you call a friend is not human. He is distorted like you, as he says; but don't be fooled. His is a strength no normal person can possess at the same time, his heart is just as fragile as your mind. If your not careful, his demise might be yours to keep."_

That was a kind of warning that she puzzled over even as she returned back to the Asylum. When she did, her friend was already waiting in her room a smirk playing on his lips.

"I see you took my advice." He said.

"It's not like I had a choice. It was either go to Wonderland or stay here rotting in this room." She sniped back.

Her custodian chuckled and shook his head. "In any case, dinner is served Alice. I also have a fresh set of clothes for you to wear and some hot water for a bath should you feel inclined to have one." He motioned to the steaming plate of delectable food, no doubt his creation as she had come to know after one of their many talks as well as a nice pot of tea. Then his hands pointeds to a fresh pile of of the asylum's uniform, it was clean and looked pressed, a sight she had come to see ever since she had been placed in his care. Then at the corner of the room, where a makeshift bathroom was set up for her privacy if nothing else.

He then turned to leave to give her some peace but she called out to him.

"Would you mind, if you could, stay with me for a while?" She asked him with some hesitance. She was quite afraid of what his answer might be. "I do not wish to be alone right now." She added quietly.

Again he heard him chuckle and this her cheeks burned with embarrassment. This time she knew he found something humorous with what she said but still she was glad he decided to stay.

So they had dinner together. This time, the food was special, he said it was a sample of delicacies from his home, and despite their unusual taste, it was indeed delicious. During their eating they talked. It was nothing in particular, only small little things really, and he was kind enough to let her lead the conversation asking the occasional question or two, shooting a comment once in a while. The food gone, the tea now cold, her body and mind now exhausted, it was then Alice decided to take her bath.

That was also when Alice decided to be a tad bit more selfish. She asked if he could help her bathe, and no doubt her earlier embarrassment came back two fold. Her custodian looked taken aback for a moment, but that soon disappeared and he gave a small bow as if he was a servant, a smile playing on his lips once again.

He made sure to try and preserve her modesty as much as he could during the entire time. When she took off her clothes he immediately covered her with a towel. She also realized that when she stepped into the _tub_ -more of a large metal basin wide enough for her to sit in comfortably- that he had the foresight to keep the water heated.

Her bath was spent in silence as she was tended to by her companion. His large hands, though calloused and rough, was a comfort as she felt him soap and rinse her skin. She also felt him slip in some minor massages to her back, relaxing her muscles and body in a way she thought was not even possible to achieve. After her bath, he wordlessly helped her get dressed and afterwards she watched as he quickly replaced the sweat and grime covered sheets of her bed with a new set.

She always enjoyed the time when she would go to bed with new sheets, like floating on clouds, away from the troubles of life, and he always made her bed by the time she was going to sleep in it. She wondered if he enjoyed spoiling her like this, but she decided to keep it to herself, i f only that her custodian might retaliate with some disparaging comment that would put a smile at her face at the cost of her irritation at him.

A few more months had passed and soon she was fit to be released from the _tender_ mercies of Rutledge. There was nowhere she could go at first aside from an orphanage, but once again her custodian came to her aid offering her a place to stay with him in his small but hospitable home.

For a time, things were well as she tried to slowly adjust herself into a normal life, but once again, the fates were not one to be kind to anyone of their choosing. Her custodian, her friend, her confidant, the one person she had come to trust beyond all others, was taken away. It was not due to anyone's interference, but he one day left her with only a note of apology, as well as an address and a name, _Zelretch_.

So despite her confusion and sudden heartache, she packed up what meager belongings they shared, which wasn't much mind you, and left for the address written on the note for her.

It took a few days of travel out of the city before she made it to her destination. It wasn't an easy trip as she was usually accosted by those of the lesser sort but she handled them well enough. Let's just say that Cheshire had new scratching posts to work with during her trip. Oh, was it mentioned that Alice had awakened a small power while staying with her custodian.

It wasn't much, she was told, as something was stopping her full access; but it was enough that her dear, but frustrating cat, had been able to come out from her Wonderland and into the real world.

But now were getting of track, and we must continue with this tale. There is still much to tell, and much to discover.

Once she made it to the home of this _Zelretch_, she wasn't that impressed. A one story hut with fading paint. Plants climbed at the stone brick walls, and a small chimney could seen peeking through the shingled roof of the building, puffing white smoke as time went by.

She rang the small bell by the door and was taken by surprise by the rather large note it churned out. The wooden door at its front slowly opened and out stepped a rather aged figure. He wore a green cloak that hid whatever he was wearing underneath, _if_ he was wearing underneath at all, one must always be careful of vagrants and deviants after all. His eyes were a rich and deep shade of red, and while he looked surprised at seeing her, he gave a smile and ushered her in.

"I've been expecting you Alice." He told her as she was served some tea. It wasn't as good as how her friend had would make it, but it was passable. If anything, those tea parties with Hatter had given her a taste of what _real_ tea is supposed to taste like. Still, his expectation of her arrival did put some questions to mind, some she asked, like what had happened to her dear friend.

"He is trapped, in lack of a better word." Zelrecth explained. "His time with you was bit of respite from his own personal hell." He continued.

"Is he in some kind of trouble?" She asked, worried began to eat at her at the safety of her custodian.

Zelrecth swirled the tea in his own cup and looked at the steaming liquid with a pondering expression. "Yes, and no." He responded. "He is reaping what he sowed."

"And what was it he sowed?" She inquired further, and wondered whether if there was something more sinister behind her friend's past.

"He sowed the seeds of his ideal." Zelrecth answered as he drank his tea.

"And what was his ideal?" She pressed. She was beginning to draw parallel between the mangy cat and this old man. Well, it wasn't really her fault. Her friend and confidant was one who kept his past to himself. Not only that, he always valued her own needs more and tactically always swayed her attention elsewhere now that she thought about it. So it was only logical that her patience was already being tested at this point.

"His ideal was to be a Hero, an ally of justice."

She could not believe the man's word.

Such an ideal, was ludicrous, it was... it was... well, mad.

How could one person try to be a Hero, an ally of justice, when injustices was all around them? And what kind of deeds did her friend commit in his past? What did he do for him to leave her, to leave the life they shared together?

"I can see on your face that you are having trouble comprehending what I said." the mysterious aged man said. "Not that I blame you, our mutual friend is quite hard to understand. He is broken as well you know." He pointed out. "Just as broken, just as distorted as you. You can say, he found a kindred soul within you."

This brought her out of her disbelief but before she could say more, Zelretch held up a hand to stop her. "I know you wish to learn more about our friend, but right now, I do not think you are quite ready yet." He said.

She pouted angrily and crossed her arms, but still she kept a cool temperament. If anything, her time with her friend and in her Wonderland was already a trial of patience and she would not lose to this old man because of her own stress. "So what must I do to become ready?" She asked.

Zelretch refilled their cups with a new batch of warm tea.

"You are still recovering aren't you?" He asked with a knowing smile.

Her eyes narrowed, it seemed this Zelretch knew more than he should. She did not believe her friend would tell anybody about her condition, she trusted that much at least.

"I know a lot of things child. Even if nobody bothers to tell me." Zelretch said as he drank his tea again, and still a smirk played at his lips. This made the parallel to the car clearer that ever.

Her silence asked him to continue, and continue he did.

"If you wish to help our friend, you must first deal with you own turmoil. Deal with it as you see fit, then come to me when everything has been resolved." Zelretch then gestured to a door to the side of the library they were in. A door she had not noticed what she had entered the abode.

"You may leave your things here for the time being. You are also most welcome to stay in my home as long as you wish, but until you have settled your unfinished business. I would ask that you do not disturb me as I am quite busy." With that said. Zelretch finished his tea, stood up, and left her to do as she wished.

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Time, time seemed to be a useless measure for her, for one whose time was stolen from. Her broken memories were a remembrance of a time past after all, and with those shattered pieces, she had been able to receive the insight of what she needed to know. It also helped that the motivation she held in seeing her friend again gave her the energy to do so.

She journeyed again into her Wonderland. There she saw that while its beauty had diminished, there were some changes as well.

_"Your time with your friend has wrought these changes."_ The cat told her. _"Despite the wall between you two, you already knew what he was, if only a little."_

Blades of all kind would litter her Wonderland. They hovered over trees, over rocks, over little nooks and crannies, and even in the abodes of Wonderland's residents. Beautiful, demonic, blades of all kinds, shapes, and sizes, yet not once they did harm to her Wonderland, but added a aesthetic charm in their own way.

In her Wonderland she explored, she journeyed, she sought the answers she wished to unveil. Answers to what happened that night, that night in which the _fire_ took everything from her, her home, her family, and her mind.

She found her answers, she found them at last. That _monster_ was the one responsible. _He_ was the one, this source of her madness, the source of her pain, the one who took her family and sanity away from her.

The man was quite hard to find without a proper name, as her sister only referred to those preening undergraduates under their father's tutelage as _toadies_ all the same; but Cheshire proved his feline nature and was able to track him down.

Track him down, track him down he did, that cat was most useful for this case, but she was not the only one that sought out the punishment that needed to be dealt. No, everyone who was wronged, who had suffered at the fallout of her madness, the corruption and malformed Wonderland, all wanted _him_ to be brought to justice.

And justice was brought, a bit too swift in hindsight, but after seeing his deeds to the orphans that stayed with him, she no longer could place hold on her actions. Still, the shocked look on _his _face as _his _head rolled on the floor gave her a small amount of satisfaction at least. Satisfaction, she hoped would be shared by all those he had wronged.

Soon after returning to Zelretch and telling him that she had closed the chapter of her past they once again sat down to talk over a nice pot of tea.

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"Now dear Alice, you are at the starting point of your journey." Zelretch congratulated her. She nodded, and accepted gracefully the appraise, pulling back a short strand of her hand behind her ear. Dear, oh dear, she wondered if she should grow her hair out again, it was already starting to reach her shoulders.

"But to reach our friend, there is one, well, a few more things you have to do. You have been noticing the manifestations of your Wonderland have you not." It was more of a statement than a question. A statement she had no problem in admitting to.

"Your interaction with our friend has activated, how shall we say it, ah..." He raised a finger in enthusiasm. "Your para-psychological abilities." He continued. "Now that has happened your view is now more open to things most people are not able to see. However, your madness, your own blockage or baggage, or whatever you wish to call them, would not allow to fully utilize these senses, and without them you would not have been able to try and track down your custodian."

Realization dawned on her when Zelretch gave his explanation. "So in order to fine him, I had to piece together and give rest to my demons?" Zelretch nodded to her.

"Indeed." He said. "But that is only part of it. Unfortunately our friend cannot be reached here. He was somewhere very distant, and while I can take you there to find him, circumstances forbid me from doing so."

"So how is it that I can change the circumstances to allow you to do so?" She asked, sipping her tea before it became cold.

"Smart girl." The old male commented, he seemed impressed that she was able to see through his words. "It's your existence." He said after.

"My... existence." Even with her wit, intelligence, and wisdom, this was something she had yet to grasp.

"Yes, your existence. You, who exists as Alice Liddel must disappear if you wish to begin your journey." Zelretch said.

"So what must I do?" she asked, still lost on what must be done.

"You must let go. You must let got that which makes you _Alice Liddel_ and become **Alice**." The elder explained.

"I must..." Thoughts swirled in her mind as she tried to piece together what was being asked of her. " I must..." Then slowly, she understood. "I must let go of my past."

Zelretch nodded, then stood up from the plush, leather chair he had been sitting on. The same chair she sat on. The same chairs they sat on the last time they had talked.

"In a way. Come" He held out a gloved hand in invitation and she noticed how smartly dressed the old man was underneath his cape. She quietly accepted and the two walked towards the back of the library, between the tall stack of tower which had appeared during the time she had left to deal with her past.

A door came into view. There was nothing special about it, except for its deep mahogany color. The door opened of its own accord, and she and her escort stepped into darkness.

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The moments dragged on and she wondered if it would be an eternity, but forward they walked. They walked, and walked, and walked further into the oblivion. She wondered when the trees began to appear, the night sky following overhead, the stars twinkling, the nocturnal fauna orchestrating their music.

"Where are we going?" she asked, finally her patience was nearing its end.

"A cross-roads, my dear." Was the cryptic reply.

"I swear, you're as bad as Cheshire, if only a little less mangy and with a bit more meat on your bones." She shot back.

Zelretch just chuckled and soon, her annoyance disappeared as she saw a familiar sight. A sight she thought she would only see again in her now recovered memories.

"Its... my home." she said.

Zelretch nodded. "In a way. It is the home of one Alice Liddel."

A figure emerged from the forest, just a ways off from where they were. Covered in darkness, its silhouette was most definitely someone she recognized; more-so when it stepped into the moonlight for just a brief moment. Yes, it was brief and only allowed her just as much time for a glance, but it was an identity she would never forget, or allow herself to.

"It's time for you to choose Alice." His hand disappeared, and so did he, and she was left alone in the dark watching the very horror that sent her spiraling into madness began to unfold, and once again, she comprehended on what she must do. Already she felt a familiar enter her hands, and Cheshire's voice echoing in her mind.

_"The Vorpal Blade is swift and keen, and always ready for service."_

She then took off, her feet willed by intent. Already she could feel her Wonderland began manifesting itself on her person. The call of the _demon's_ blood was sang by the residents and the army of the boards came forth to give her strength to see the deed through. She made it to the back of the house with time to spare but she did not go through the door, there was no need to. With a light jump and with some help from her Wonderland once more, she made it to the veranda and right where she needed to be, outside of Lizzie's room.

Quickly and quietly she entered through the open portal, and gave a brief glance to the bed. Relief and sorrow filled her when she espied Lizzie's sleeping face, but that soon changed as her now as her she picked up the sound of someone coming up the stairs. Again her body shifted in response to her Wonderland and she felt the distinct presence of Cheshire stir within her.

_"All in good time Alice. A hunter knows when opportunity comes knocking."_

Cheshire all but purred into her mind and she understood. Backing away into the shadow of the corner, she waited. Her wait was short, her movements just as swift. From the moment she saw his wretched face through the inky darkness, she struck. She probably should have savored the moment as she did not do so during the first time, but alas, she had more pressing concerns at the moment, like what to do with the the now bleeding and quickly cooling corpse at Lizzie's doorway.

That choice was taken out of her hands though.

"Who's there?" Lizzies voice called out.

A light turned on, a scream shook the home, and out she was into the safety of forest, her body reappearing from the either it had disappeared the moment the room was bathed in illumination.

"I see you had no problem deciding after-all."

She turned around to see Zelretch leaning against a tree, a cane in hand, a smoking pipe in the other. Again she felt her Wonderland move, the residents, their blood-lust and cries for justice sated once again.

"It was not a hard decision to make." She told him.

Zelretch nodded. "Indeed it wasn't, but did you understand the lesson?"

She nodded. "Yes." She told him firmly. "I had severed my past, put it to rest."

The smoking old man nodded. "Yes, you did laid it to rest. However, what you are experiencing is more than your own mind. Due to this act, Lizzie, Mr. and Mrs. Liddel, never died. Alice Liddel grows into a proper and educated lady. She lives a happy life and passes down her Wonderland to a daughter of her own in the future; but this life is without your custodian, without your friend, and with this interruption, you yourself cease to be Alice Liddel. Now, you are just, Alice." He explained.

"So what am I to do, now that I am just Alice? How can I see my friend again?" Alice, just Alice asked the old man.

A smile once again played on Zelretch's lips as he puffed out a cloud of smoke courtesy from his pipe.

"Simple, I will teach what you have to do, what you need to know and with the information added you will participate and win." Zelretch said.

"Participate in what, win what?" Alice inquired again.

The smile turned into a small laugh as Zelretch continued.

"Why my dear child, my dear Alice, you will participate in the Holy Grail War." Zelretch then stood up from the tree. He drew himself from his rather hunched figure and soon enough, the illusion of an aged and weary man she thought him to be disappeared as he contemplated her.

"Come Alice." He said. His smoking pipe disappeared in a blink of her eye and his gloved hand, white in color now, extended to her once again in invitation.

"My full name is Kischur Zeltretch Schweinorg, Wizard Marshall and wielder of the _Kaleidoscope_. Let me be your guide as you begin your journey to find your friend."

And so, with her friend in her mind, she took the hand being offered and soon, Alice was introduced to the world of Magi, to the world of thaumaturgy, and to the world of the fourth Heaven's Feel.

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**A/N:**

Okay, another drabble that just got churned out as I tried to fix the characterization of Ryuunoske and Caster. Anyway, you could probably tell you the character Alice is chasing after, and yes, I decided to use Zelretch as a handy-dandy plot device. In any case, I wanted to give this crossover a whirl.

I hope you enjoyed reading this.

Dminion signing off.


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